Top 10 pick up lines that haven't worked for me.

Top 10 pick up lines that haven't worked for me.



10.
You know, they scanned my brain last week. Turns out I have the same brain waves as Charles Manson.

9.
You know I blow for a team on the weekends.

8.
Can you add my mom on Facebook?

7.
You look just like my ex before I raped her.

6.
You know sometimes when I'm lifting weights and try to push that last set up I poop a little.

5.
Hey before I tell you my name . I just want you to know I lost my penis in a merry-go-round accident.

4.
Is it too much to ask, for a girl to give me a blow job on the first date?

3.
I'm not allowed to come within 100 feet of  a kid or a school.

2.
How rich are your parents?

1.
I would ask if you wanted to go get something to eat but from the looks of it, you already ate.

Top 10 excuses for why there's porn in your history

Top 10 excuses for why there's porn in your history.

If I've learned anything in life it's how to hide porn, but some of you are new to the game so here are ten ways to get away so you can spank another day.


10.
Research for a project.

9.
My best friend did it as a joke.

8.
It wasn't me, so ask dad.

7.
It must be Spam or some kind of Virus.

6.
My penis made me do it.

5.
I wanted to learn how to please you better.

4.
If I wanted to see animal porn, I would watch National Geographic.

3.
Hey at least it's not gay porn.

2.
I wanted to know how babies were made.

1.
I was trying to find a recipe for a banana smoothie.

Top 10 Things To Do On An Elevator

Top 10 things to do on an elevator.


We all know elevators to be quite uncomfortable your not sure if you should say hi when somebody new
 gets on or bye when they leave half the time we stand like the new kid at preschool in a corner wanting to cry. So here are a few things ten to be exact that should make your elevator stay more pleasurable.

10.
When the elevator starts going, open a small box or briefcase and say are you okay in there?

9.
Tell them the last two people on this elevator died.  

8.
If you're on board with a group of people you do not know, tag one and say you're it.

7.
If there's only one other person on, start talking to them and when they say something back, say "I'm not talking to you"

6.
Put a Cucumber in your pants and say "elevators give me a boner"

5.
Bring a baby doll on the elevator on the way to your floor start making out with the baby doll.

4.
Act like your Fighting a ghost.

3.
When the door shuts start yelling why are you doing this where are you taking me.

2.
When a new person steps in, ask them what number? Then proceed to push every number but their number.

1.
If there's only one other person on, fart and blame them!